Fucking Homesick.

Read, don't read, whatever. I have to get this out.

I miss not being shit ass cold when I'm inside, I miss not having to cling on to a halogen heater in order to not have my ass frozen off.
I miss my wonderful little apartment that isn't gross, which walls isn't rotten with mold, my apartment that isn't filled with disgusting insects. My apartment that doesn't smell of damp, and with windows that aren't constantly dripping wet.
I miss going to the toilet and being able to wash my hands off with water that isn't freezing cold, and I miss getting to wipe my hands with a towel that isn't soaking wet from hanging on the wall for five minutes.
I miss my fast internet, I miss having internet at home, I miss Sweden's wonderful 3G-net. How the fuck do you tweet on-the-go without 3G?!
I miss Sweden's wonderful grocery stores, where everything is in a logical place, where we have endless aisles of health food. I miss all the lovely dairy products, I miss being able to read the nutritional facts about the food I'm buying. I miss JUICE, did you know that they don't have real juice here? Everything is like juice cocktail or some shit. I miss cheese blocks and thin slices of sandwich turkey.
I miss living 5 minutes walking distance from one of the biggest grocery stores in Sweden, not 30 minutes away from the crappiest grocery store on earth.
I miss store clerks who are reasonably nice, and who aren't talking to their colleagues while serving you.
I miss being able to walk outside during daytime without being scared of being sexually harassed, I miss not having to rely on my boyfriend for safety.
I miss macaroons, and chocolate pralines, and real candy, and licorice, and many different flavours of Ben & Jerry's, and Swedish magazines, and exotic snacks.
I miss all my clothes, I miss having the possibility to buy new ones, I miss every single item in our apartment, all our kitchen equipment.
I miss people watching, people in Stockholm are unbelievably beautiful and well-dressed.

I seem very ungrateful, I'm aware of that. People tell me I shouldn't miss Sweden right now because it's oh-so-cold. I know it is, I fucking hate the cold. I hate that Sweden necessarily has to be located so far north. But I really love everything with that country, other countries aren't even an option, they don't know how to live. Honestly, why wouldn't you isolate your house? It's so fucking stupid I can't even stand it. I accept so much when I'm here that I would never accept otherwise. I feel gross all the time, everything is gross, our apartment is the most disgusting place I'd ever had the misfortune to spend time in.

Today it's exactly 4 weeks until I'm going home, and I'm counting hours.